Mum (to Erica, asking about her toy LIZARD): Is it a boy or a girl?
Erica: No
Mum: Is it a boy?
Erica: No
Mum: Is it a girl?
Erica: No. It's a MOSQUITO!Mummy: No, Erica, DON'T put your teddy on the toilet! Here, here's teddy's toilet (pointing to rubbish bin)
Erica: No, that's yucky, THIS one is nice (hovering precious teddy over the bowl again) THIS one is paper is yucky (pointing to the used toilet rolls in the bin)
Child One: What does it taste like? (referring to wholegrain bread)
Child Two (while Mum is not listening, busy with toaster): You've got a pudding bum (to her sister)
Child One: I don't have a pudding bum!
Mum: It's crunchy and kind of nutty (in response to the the toast question of course...)
Mum (to child three, or anyone who was listening): You can lie down on the bed. Or on the sofa if you're not feeling well. You CAN'T lie down on the chair, or on the kitchen floor.
Sister to sister: Your FOOT is in my FACE!
Me to Lena last night: Sorry, I bumped your elbow with my ear
Amy calling to me from the house as I waited in the car: HELP!
I did nothing. Somehow I just knew she had really meant to just say 'WAIT!'
Walking towards the kitchen, hearing Amy's voice, then suddenly seeing Lena flying across the room after Amy entered the room with a great deal of energy, knocking Lena off her feet. The best thing - neither of them cried or implored me to punish the other. The benefits of SEEING the event!!!
And the best: "Erica, please don't eat cars" (in the supermarket carpark, where she was, literally, taking bites out of people's cars)
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