1. Wake up, get onto facebook and reply to every post
2. Cook dinner and do laundry IN THE MORNING to minimize distractions
3. Check fb again at lunchtime, and during breaks at work. Comment on everything. Make some semi-controversial comments about a subject you feel indifferent about. A good debate is interesting and instructive. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES comment on any subject you feel passionate about. Being attacked and offended is not fun, no many how many wines you've had.
By the time you actually get that first glass in your hand, you should have a dozen or two shiny little red notifications to work with!
4. Post cute pic of kids and/or kittens.
5. Update status with something interesting, dammit! Preferably a question.
6. Keep commenting on everything. Laugh a lot. Post update of a hiccup to see how many likes you get (good indication of how many other drunkbookers are out there).
7. STOP. Or pick a close friend or two to have a super stupid long dumb conversation with, but for God's sake otherwise, just STOP!
7.1 Go back, just for a minute... just to see...
10. Wake up next day. Do not check facebook at all, ever again. Swear not to drink again either. Yeah right.