Sunday, February 26, 2012


I had my first go at holding a grudge. I can't say I recommend it. I woke up in my usual morning cheer, but with a nagging feeling that I should be mad. Like I have to nurse my anger and cherish it carefully to justify stomping around last night and refusing to make eye contact with a husband who really didn't do anything wrong and would have been ready for a loving apology-and-make-up session a few hours after the (minor) incident.

We hardly fight at all, and it's never big, and always over soon. My little annoyances are over quickly with a short burst of nagging, after which I bounce back pretty quickly. His, he deals with by bottling it up and pretending he's not really mad, which fools no-one, or well okay, it fools Erica, and Lena would probably allow herself to be fooled, but Amy and I are sensitive to it. Sometimes it annoys me that we have to deal with it long after the fact, but I usually totally ignore it (not him) because I don't think his silliness should intrude on my normal good cheer or upset the kids. But he then gets over it a few hours later with the help of a nice meal, a few beers and a lovely chat with the family. We used to fight bigger when we were first married, but even then it wasn't very often.

But I was SO tired from this flu and the follow-on, and had just got home from the hospital with Erica again, and I just could not be bothered pretending to be all cheerful and pretending he wasn't really fuming over there in his corner, and tired of the fact that he 'needs' the time (and the beer) to get over it, and since I was already not very keen on eating, and would have to put in an effort just to enjoy it anyway, I just could not sit down and eat. I went back to the computer and ate after he had finished. By that time he had put on a Twilight movie 'for the kids' which annoyed me more, but again I just did not want to go there, so I ignored it, but finished up dinner and saved a poor frightened Erica from her spot near the sofa where she was diligently NOT watching the screen and took her bed.

Which leaves me this morning feeling like I somehow have to defend my decision to hold the grudge by exaggerating how awful he was or how upset I was. Dumb idea. I just can't be bothered. Hope he just forgets it all!

Edited to add: he came home, and all was conveniently forgotten. Nice.


gaijinwife said...

You guys never fight - well, not that I've ever been in the know about!! so glad it was only a 24 hour feud. I'm sure I'd have thrown something or slit my husbands wrists for him if he'd tried to show my four year old a vampire movie. Thank god that zombie add hasn't been on for the last week.

However, I do agree, sometimes just ignoring it is the best way to go. The fight isn't worth the effort sometimes. Hope Erica is all better. Touch wood - we are all still flu free... so far so good.

God I hat the blogger word verification. It is so hard to figure out sometimes.

Rachel said...

'only' 24 hours?? That's a record for me, I put in an enormous amount of effort to keep it up that long! Actually it was a little shorter, by the time he was home 3pm Sunday it was all forgotten.

We don't fight much, it's usually insignificant and blows over quickly, and therefore it doesn't prey on my mind so that it comes out under the fingertips on the keyboard.

This one did cos I held onto the grudge for dear life, but that was a dumb idea I'm not doing that again! Bugger feeling shitty all night and into the next day.